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Hook Em
Resident UT/UNT/Cowboy/GOP Apologist
USA
7513 Posts |
 Posted - 02/11/2006 : 17:08:46
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'Bucket Boy'
Phil V. Mark - And Some Hard Data
By Mike Fisher -- DallasBasketball.com
Phil JackZen is testifying that the Mavs and their owner now intimidate referees into calling games in Dallas' favor. Is this simply more fine whining and ref-baiting from one of sports history's greatest front-runners (and arguably, greatest sore losers)? Is there anything besides sour grapes -- something like, say, PROOF -- to back up the incendiary claims of the Lakers coach?
Said JackZen after Tuesday's 102-87 Mavs-over-Lakers win: "I thought it was really a poorly refereed ballgame. I know there's a lot of pressure on the refs when they come here because Mark (Cuban) has them review the tapes and send them into the league.''
JackZen then referred to the officials who do Dallas games as "Nervous Nellies.''
Some quick thoughts, before we delve into some quick numbers:
Cuban, of course, wasted no time in responding, noting that JackZen can now no longer play the Mavs without the coach mentioning the opposing owner, and asserting, tongue-in-check, that "I own Phil Jackson. ... He's my bucket boy''.
To which I would add:
1) Why not, Mark? You own pretty much everything else!
2) What's a Bucket Boy?
It might be helpful to newcomers to know that DB.com began detailing this battle five-and-a-half years ago when we first recorded JackZen and Cuban telling each other to 'shut their mouths'.
It is beyond bizarre to hear Phil JackZen cry about how officiating might favor a team (usually a superior team), given the fact that he has long overseen almost exclusively "superior'' teams. JackZen had the best seat in the house when two of the players who most changed the way games were officiated, Jordan and Shaq, did their thing. Mavs fans (maybe Cuban, too) have long bemoaned their lack of "superstar calls'' because for the better part of three decades, Dallas had no superstars with whom to attain "superstar calls.'' JackZen's lack of respect for the nature of "hometown calls'' or "reputation fouls'' or "superstar calls'' -- given the fact that he's spent a lifetime benefitting from them -- is astounding.
Additionally, referring to officials as "Nervous Nellies'' -- while not quite the same as referring to them as 'F---ing Nervous Nellies'' -- is deserving of a penalty from the league. It's not much different from Jeff Van Gundy last spring suggesting that officials purposely called games in a way that would be unfavorable to Yao Ming. Suggesting a conspiracy is a fineable offense. Suggesting that the refs have no balls should be, too.
"Bucket Boy'' kept up the act in Houston on Wednesday, by the way. Making more references to Cuban and the Mavs while his team was in the midst of playing the Rockets. Maybe a trick to deflect attention away from the fact that a franchise with "the best coach in history'' and "the best player in the sport'' is lottery-bound?
Some of this is undoubtedly nothing more than JackZen just "working'' the refs; planting a seed so maybe he'll catch a break next time. (Accuse a ref of bending too far thataway, and maybe he reacts by overcompensating and bending back too far thisaway. Miami coach Pat Riley believes that's what's going on here, too.) What seems weird is that the seed planted here seems to be taking root inside Phil's head -- and seems to have been planted, however accidentally, by Cuban. The Mavs owner has famously campaigned for referee reform (and by the way, has successfully influenced changes). But during the campaign, critics said his criticisms were "costing'' Dallas calls. Along comes JackZen to claim that in fact, it's the other way around. ... that Cuban's rants actually "gain'' Dallas calls!
In essence, Mark Cuban is out-psych'ing the Psych Master. A T-shirt-wearing, haircut-needing, computer-geekin', broken-down-old-rugby-playin' son of a car upholsterer from Pittsburgh is freaking out a modern-age Aristotle? Weird. And kinda cool.
We're not much for the sports/gambling/mafia/conspiracy stuff. Oh, we know Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren suddenly is. And we know Wayne Gretzky's wife might secretly be. But having watched the Lakers-Mavs game, we naively thought LA's loss was due to an inability to score and and an inability to defend. Kobe was 5-of-22. Dallas killed 'em in the paint and on the boards. LA had no answer for Dirk Nowitzki's 26, and no answer for Josh Howard's 22. We thought the Mavs won because Dallas, which moved to 38-10 with the victory, is superior to the Lakers, who slipped to 1-5 on this road trip and to .500 for the year.
But beyond that, really, we cannot fathom the motivation for, say, referee Ken Mauer to call things Dallas' way. And that is what JackZen is suggesting about Mauer, the lead official on Tuesday in Dallas. Mauer worked with Rodney Mott and Scott Wall that night.
"Nervous Nellies.'' The lot of 'em.
Let's review the suggestion again: In essence, the LA coach is accusing Mauer's crew of succumbing to the pressure of Cuban and his views by calling the game in Dallas' favor. Additionally, because Cuban's ref-related actions go back five-years-plus, JackZen's remarks should logically relate to five years of reffing Dallas games.
So let's take it to the biggest stages the Mavs have been on, stages when there wasn't a lowly Clippers or Knicks team to victimize. Stages where the teams were more competitive. Let's take it first to Mavs-Lakers games in the last five years. Dallas' record against LA during this five-year period in which the Mavs have been pretty good and Cuban has become the zebras' Boogie Man is. ... 7-10.
That's the Cuban Era Advantage? He bares his fangs and we get 7-and-10? Wow, that is intimidating! Good thing Tony Cubes finally put the scare into the league, inasmuch as there was a time when the Mavs were 5-46 against the Lakers. (Too bad back-in-the-bad-old-days coach Quinn Buckner didn't know how to send video tape. We'da been a contenda!)
Let's take it to an even bigger stage: the playoffs. And let's get specific with a particular "Nervous Nellie.''
If Phil JackZen is right -- if a veteran official like Ken Mauer is intimidated by the Mavs into giving them the breaks that lead to wins -- maybe we can find some numbers that prove him right!
So let's look at the same last five seasons for the Mavs in the postseason -- and how Ken Mauer has aided Dallas, either "secretly'' or "conspiratorially'' or as the result of having been "strong-armed'' by Cuban's muscular audio-visual department:
In the last five seasons, Wall and Mott have not worked any Mavericks playoff games. Ken Mauer has worked five of them.
The Mavs' record in playoff games not worked by Mauer is 20-21.
The Mavs' record in those five games worked by Mauer: 1-4.
Thanks for nothing, Ken.
Boy, Phil, that damn Ken "Nervous Nellie'' Mauer is absolutely handing big victories to the Mavs on a black-and-white-striped platter, eh?
"Nervous Nellie,'' my ass. Combine Phil's logic with the true numbers and this ref is more like "Mav-Hater Mauer.''
In summary, we're not convinced that it's simply happenstance when a team's loss frequently coincides with a ref's assignment; Don Nelson vs. Joey Crawford was not a figment of the imagination, and Larry Brown may have been simply pointing out a fact last summer when noting that his Pistons fared poorly when Danny Crawford or Ron Garretson reffed. But it's hard to take Phil JackZen seriously when a little research establishes that the facts are diametrically opposite what he claims them to be.
Says Heat coach Pat Riley, who must deal with the cheatin' refs on Thursday in Dallas: "(JackZen) just got beat down there, didn't he? "Phil is one of the great complainers of all time." .
Our recommended options, then, for Coach Bucket Boy: a) do a little research, like we did, so you can determine truth from fiction; b) quit making excuses for losses and instead admit that you are losing because you don't have Shaq or Jordan or Pippen on your team; c) try to lay off the opposing team's PA announcer, who is but a harmless (yet loud) voice and not the root of all the Lakers' evils; d) maybe learn for yourself how to run one of them there high-falootin' film-projector thingees so you too can send video tape to the league; e) Shut it up and coach 'em up.
Shut it up and coach 'em up. Bucket Boy.
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Hook'em pointed up, Hook'em pointed down, Hook'em palm forward, Hook'em palm backward, it's all a Hook'em and a sign of respect and in the case of opponents doing it, FEAR!
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